All Developed And Nowhere to Go

EYES OF GOHMA--Stagnation is the word most often used to describe the furthest north city in Midlandia. The mysteriously named Eyes of Gohma is anything but mysterious. In fact, it's downright...boring.

"Well, I wouldn't call it boring, exactly," local restauranteur Polly Charms said at the recent "Art of Gohma" exhibit event. "I would call it a place that hasn't found it's niche yet."

But the very reason EoG city leaders were holding this pioneering event was specifically to help break the stereotype of their city, one that has been reinforced in TV shows and amongst Midlandia comics for some time now. Despite some considerable investment in local art, including the giant arch known as The Portal, Sims aren't giving this small northern city much of a chance.

The Portal, Eyes of Gohma, one of Midlandia's most expensive art installations

Several reasons have been proffered by city residents for the lack of interest in the city including air pollution, the far north location of the city, and the generally uninspired architecture of the place, according to a Sim On The Street informal poll conducted this evening.

"There's just nothing to do here, except for that arch," 17-year-old Pauly Noyes said. "And once you've done that, you've really done it."

Local meteorologist Gordon Fortress confirmed that opinion, noting that the tight grid of the city inspired an almost prison-like feel to getting around.

"It's very efficient, that's a solid fact. And you can get around from place to place in almost no time at all," Fortress said. "But when you get there, you're just there. Do you get what I'm saying? There's nothing unique to see, just a bunch of bland buildings and generic office complexes."

"And no water!" Fortress's morning TV co-host Jenny Weems added. "It's nothing but flat land all over, with nowhere to go!"

The city's mayor, Link McLinkerson, has tried hard both to stay out of the debates on the cause of Eyes of Gohma's ennui, while at the same time doing everything he can to drum up interest."

"I don't get why people are complaining, really. We're an oasis in an untamed wilderness," McLinkerson said. "To the north of us is the great frontier, the undiscovered mass of Midlandia's future. Were Lewis & Clark bored? Was Captain Kirk bored? We've got a tremendously bright future ahead, and all people can do is complain."

"McLinkerson can talk for sure, but, really the fact is, everyone's oppressed by the smog," local resident Julian Frankly said, referring to the heavy concentration of air pollution in the city caused by the heavy industrial sector of Eyes of Gohma. "They keep saying they're going to solve that problem, but I sure can't see it."

Regardless of the nature of the issues, though, Eyes of Gohma appears pretty well locked into its place, with every square meter of real estate filled, save for two reserved park areas in the south central portion of the city. McLinkerson called that development 'balance' in a conversation with Gazette editors, but one has to wonder just what this city is supposed to grow up to become. Maybe the city will become a center for art and culture, as city boosters would like.

"But for now, this place is as bland as my Aunt Helen," Noyes said. "As soon as I can, I'm moving to Eldorado Hills."

Eyes of Gohma