Too Many Buses, Not Enough Riders

FRESH START--One of Midlandia's newest cities has a lot of things going for it, and city leaders willing to experiment, but one of those experiments has led to an unexpected traffic difficulty: too many buses, mostly empty, clogging city streets.

"What can I say, the mayor took a good idea a little too far," Fresh Start City Manager Mona Hydroxy said.

Mayor Nechisti Sabak, after a tour of other Midlandia cities with inadequate public transportation, noted that one of the difficulties those cities faced was in correcting a lack of early investment in transport infrastructure. As a result, Midlandia transport expert Rachel Prosker said, Sabak fell victim to one of the more common mistakes of new mayors--spending too much on buses too soon.

"It's a forgiveable mistake, and a very easy trap to fall into," Prosker said. "You place one stop, then two, you've got plenty of money in the treasury, and you decide the whole city needs access to bus stops. But before you know it, you've got an armada of buses rolling around the city with nobody riding. That makes people angry fast," Prosker said.

The Roundabout Stop is a ride to nowhere

"The unfortunate result of this effect, besides the disappointment of the waste, is the encouragement to those opposed to public transit as an example of why they think public transit doesn't work," Prosker said. "I see it all the time. Those folks don't need any more ammo."

And Fresh Start has a small but vocal contingent of such persons, led by resident "Hy" Limbus. Limbus successfully lobbied the city council to tear out one bus stop, and he's aiming his sights at eliminating the whole system.

"Fresh Start doesn't even have 5,000 residents," Limbus said. "And, at the present moment, you could likely fit ALL the residents of Fresh Start in the new bus fleet. It's crazy."

"Besides, most people in town have cars. What would the car dealers do if everybody in Fresh Start abandoned driving? Why would we even need roads in the city? We have great roads in this city. Why do we need buses on them, when people can just enjoy the scenery from their 2017 Lilypad Convertibles?"

Sabak, though acknowledging her mistake, continues to disagree with that view.

"Anybody who has been to Industry Haven, or Eldorado Hills, knows what a mess it is to drive around there. And if somebody early on in those cities had said, let's responsibly develop a sane public transit system for the future, they wouldn't have half the problems they have today. I don't expect Fresh Start will ever be nearly as big as those cities, but we can be as messy as them if we're not cautious. We've successfully invested in wind power and light water to keep our city fresh and clean, and public transit will be a major component of that in the future, too."

"Any good mayor will tell you it's critical to have a balanced transportation policy. Well, we got a little unbalanced, I'll admit it. But tearing out all the bus stops would unbalance it the other way. We're learning, and it's better to err on the side of progress."

Fresh Start, June 2017

EXCLUSIVE: FIRE DESTROYS BLOCKS OF INDUSTRY HAVEN; CAUSE UNKNOWN

INDUSTRY HAVEN--A fire event of unprecedented proportions enveloped several blocks of Industry Haven's Central Stratton and Dogville districts this afternoon, destroying three high-rise buildings and at least five more smaller buildings, effectively wiping out three blocks of Industry Haven's north central area. Casualty figures potentially are in the thousands, according to sources within two city hospitals. The cause remains completely unknown at this point, though all of Industry Haven's fire squad and its resources were employed to fight the fires.

At approximately 3:48 p.m. Saturday afternoon, several fires appeared to break out simultaneously on the upper floors of numerous buildings in Central Stratton. The fire department, dispatched immediately, struggled to find all the locations of the fires, and were not immediately aware that Dogville also suffered fires right away. Before the fires were extinguished, three residential high-rise buildings collapsed, sending debris into the air for blocks around Stratton and Dogville.

Government officials and fire department senior officers were not available at press time to give an official comment on the cause or on the number of casualties. Clean up is expected to take weeks to months, said one assistant city manager.

"This could not have occurred accidentally, but nobody has any idea how it started yet," said a city official who refused to be named told the Midlandia Gazette.

Updates will be posted to the Midlandia Gazette as information comes in.

Photos of the Fire and Its Aftermath

A Masterful City

DELGADO AINLEY--Inserted in a southwest nook is a town that is the 2017 Best Village Award winner, according to travel publisher Simlish Travel Guide. Delgado Ainley, one of Midlandia's smaller towns, has been ranked as the most charming community in the region. At a population just over 2,600, Delgado Ainley boasts a quietly wealthy base who keep to themselves and enjoy the fresh air and trees that shade the rustic houses of the town.

"It helps that the community is new, and has a very forward-thinking tax policy that keeps out unwanted elements from our home," local resident Gerald Whomson told the Gazette. "We have industry, but they behave themselves. We also keep only the best businesses."

Simlish Travel Guide editor Johanna Bartolomo agrees with that sentiment. "I spent four absolutely delightful days in the Delgado Ainley Bed & Breakfast, and I could have spent another whole month," Bartolomo said. "This is a town of distinction, with quality people and lush surroundings."

Careful planning kept the natural qualities of Delgado Ainley alive

"The best part about Delgado Ainley is the fact that the city was planned expressly to maintain the natural features of the area. No crazy overdevelopment, deforestation, or concrete jungles here. This is a modern city that kept its pastoral soul intact," Bartolomo said.

Still, DA does have one problem that, sadly, is not uncommon in Midlandia: an underperforming rail system.

"Rail all over the region is truly disappointing, and that's especially sad in Delgado Ainley, which built a passenger rail station meant to capitalize on tourists visiting by rail," Rail Thrills magazine publisher Pauley Ronson told the Gazette. "Everywhere you look in Midlandia, if you see train tracks, you're almost guaranteed never to see a train. If you look at the statistics, the region is virtually barren in its rail use, despite many kilometers of track in every city."

Although cities like Seniom Sed and Red Dawn have commercial and industrial uses for their rail systems, almost nobody in Midlandia uses passenger rail, preferring to fly at one of the many airports in the region.

"Part of the problem is the lack of a coordinated central planning agency for rail usage in the region," Ronson said. "What we need is for the cities to get together and appoint a board who will take responsibility for promoting railroads. Until then, all the Midlandia cities will work against each other, or at least in a haphazard way."

Fortunately for the residents of Delgado Ainley, though, railroads were not part of the judgment criteria for their new award.

"I don't give a hoot or a holler about trains," Bartolomo said. "Just keep feeding me these fresh clams, and more of these unique local wines, and I'll be just fine."

Delgado Ainley

Biggest Library in Region Opens

INDUSTRY HAVEN--Scholars, historians, and readers rejoiced around Midlandia at word of the new Industry Haven Central Library, the largest and most comprehensive collection of books in the region.

"I've been asking for something like this for years, and always getting the short stick," Khrushchev University Humanities Professor Gabriel Tee said. "The best part is, it gives me an excuse to visit the capital more often, too."

The new library, home to over 330,000 books, serves as the hub of the Industry Haven Library System, and is the focal point for library services in the region.

"Inter-library loan? We got it. Reference? Only the best in the region," IHLS Head Librarian Whitaker Lonscence said. "Midlandia Sims will no longer go hungry for the latest and most popular novels and entertainment. It's our goal to make sure that every young Sim in Midlandia can read to their hearts' content."

Industry Haven Central Library

IH's library system consists of four library branches, plus the large Central Library north of downtown, providing supplemental educational benefits to an already well-educated populace. But in addition to books, magazines, and Internet access, the new Central Library also contains a wide selection of DVDs and Blu-Ray video content, video games for various systems, and other software. Even cake pans and art works from Midlandia artists are available to be checked out at this massive new library.

Mayor Vladimir Putin has stated more than once his investment in education, noting that educated Sims drive most of the growth in the region.

"We must make sure that no IH resident is left behind in the war for educational success," Putin said. "All citizens must be prepared to serve the glorious Motherland using their hearts, their hands, and especially their minds."

---

Region's First Avionics Plant Opens

FRESH START--Midlandia's first factory devoted to aircraft parts manufacturing, Rispex Avionics, Inc. opened its doors this week in the region's newest town.

"We can't tell you how thrilled we are to be the home base for Midlandia's burgeoning aircraft industry," Mayor Nechisti Sabak said Wednesday. "Fresh Start residents are educated, eager, and ready to show the region just what we're capable of doing," Sabak said.

Easy access to rail lines was cited as a primary reason for the selection of Fresh Start for the factory, as well as an ultra modern bent towards high technology not found in many other cities, said Rispex Avionics CEO Moab Bu.

"The beach and water access is nice, too," Bu said. "Kidding aside, though, Fresh Start makes a perfect platform for our business, and we have the ability to send our products through the region quickly."

Rispex Avionics manufactures aircraft electronics at reasonable prices

Editorial: Capital Waterway Going to Waste

By Air Safari, Special to the Midlandia Gazette

Our capital city, Industry Haven, has many and varied amenities, services, entertainment options, a casino, military base, and thousands upon thousands of jobs. And yet, the city I call home is stagnating. That's right, Industry Haven is stuck in a rut, and it's all due to the fact that city leaders are too conservative. One prime example of this stagnation is Industry Haven's failure to capitalize on a great resource: The Ottawa Basin.

I know Mayor Vladimir Putin doesn't like criticism of the government, but something needs to be said. I love Industry Haven as much as any of its 250,000 citizens. But having lived here for so long, I also know that more needs to be done. I travel around Midlandia and other regions often for my career, and so, unlike many Midlandia Sims, I feel like I have a perspective that is unique. And what I've been seeing is cities taking advantage of waterways-building marinas, seaports, cruise lines, beaches and more. These cities, including two of Industry Haven's neighbors, Eldorado Hills and Constance Hill, have learned that in order to grow, a city must make full use of its water resources.

Industry Haven, on the other hand, has done absolutely nothing with its water resources.

Now, I will grant you, IH does not have the same amount of water access as other Midlandia cities. In several ways, it is landlocked, bordered by suburbs that have nearly full control of the seas of Midlandia. But that is a bit of an excuse--other Midlandia cities have zero access to waterways, including Eyes of Gohma, to name one example. Industry Haven, though, does have the Ottawa Basin, a clean, pristine, self-contained area of water that, administratively, belongs solely to IH.

The Ottawa Basin and SimNation Tower

It's an open secret that the government of IH is frustrated at the lack of growth in the city, as it does its best to stay competitive against its rapidly-growing competitors in the Triforce Area and other parts of Midlandia.

I know Mayor Putin will go to many lengths to win in that contest--riding bears shirtless in the woods, flying with cranes in the skies above Midlandia, rigging elections in far-off regions. Nevertheless, the city council and Putin refuse to touch the Ottawa Basin. Why? This citizen wants to know.

Yes, we've all read the excuses. 'The land area will not support construction of a marina,' they say. 'A seaport will not fit in any location in the basin.' 'There's too much chance of damage to downtown Industry Haven if we terraform.' But this isn't fitting with the can-do spirit of the Industry Haven of old!

What happened to that city, the one that said, damn the rules, we're going to make a success out of this place no matter the odds! It's grown too meek, too conservative over the years. It's now a city where it takes months or even years of debate to even upgrade a road to an avenue, to build a couple of subway stations.

In other words, it's a city that lost its boldness, its drive.

We must get it back, if Industry Haven is to remain the leader in Midlandia.

Mayor Putin, I implore you, be strong! Crush your competitors under the bootheels of Industry Haven's might. Use every resource, every opportunity. For us, for Industry Haven.

Views expressed by contributors do not represent the opinions of the editors and staff of the Midlandia Gazette

---

Industry Haven Makes Traffic Improvements and Subway Stops

To alleviate the ongoing traffic congestion issues in southwest Industry Haven, the IH City Transit Authority has added two new subway stops, and completed construction on Entertainment Road, now called Entertainment Avenue.

The new subway stops, Teapot Dome Station, and Casino Station, should help reduce overcrowding at the Ft. Des Moines Stop and the Dogville Stop. Casino Station replaces the Wilsonoff Tennis Stop, which was demolished to accommodate the upgrade to Entertainment Avenue.

"We appreciate the patience of the public while we made this tremendous upgrade to one of our main thoroughfares," IHCTA spokeswoman Miranda Aphex said in a press release on the upgrades. "The benefits to reducing congestion will benefit everyone in Industry Haven and Constance Hill," Aphex said.

Midlandia's First City Celebrates Landmark

LAZY ISLES II--The city nicknamed "Pioneer City" may have lagged behind for several years in competition with more recent Midlandia cities, but recent subtle changes in the first city to join the Midlandia Region prove that its days of stagnation are firmly in the past.

Working in collaboration with neighbor Mayor Tutorial, which provides most of Lazy Isles tourist Simoleons, the two cities created Midlandia's third luxury cruise line, Endeavour Cruises. Mayor Boyd was thrilled to discuss the newest cruise ship in the area, the SS Tempest.

"Midlandians from all over will flock to our cruise line, featuring the biggest and most luxurious ship around. And they'll bring all their money to improve things for the average Lazy Islander," Boyd said.

Lazy Isles II celebrates its latest milestone

Lazy Islanders would perhaps be nonplussed by the more ostentatious displays of the city's growth, were it not combined with steady progress in terms of education and policing, issues that were high on the list of needs in recent polls.

"I could care less about the hoity-toity luxury barges," Porsche Jones said when asked about the changes. "I want the graffiti cleaned off my apartment building. I want the sidewalks cleaned and the street lights working. But I must admit, we're doing much better. It's keeping me here, I was considering moving," Jones said.

One major limiter to Lazy Isles growth is the lack of real estate. Mayor Boyd's strategy has been to reduce, rather than add to, city development, seemingly a bad idea, but he explained his plan to the Gazette recently.

"It's not so much about covering every square meter with development--that leads to a crowded, dirty, congested feel to most residents. So by trimming back strategically on the development, and replacing some of that with open space and trees, Lazy Islanders feel more like this is a quiet, comfortable homefront," Boyd said.

Jones seemed to agree with the new strategy. "I stepped out of my 2-story brick house this morning, and I saw the sun rising over the new maples down Zelda III Avenue. It's the first time in a long time that I felt like I really lived on an island, and appreciated what I have," Jones said. "Really, it's pretty great to be here."

South Isles City Enjoys Quiet Growth

ROADSTER CITY--A center of commerce and insurance, Roadster City may not have the exciting bustle of the Triforce Area cities, but every day it's becoming more and more a competitor worth noting. A city of 70,000, Roadster City has always been called respectable by Midlandia city watchers, but it isn't until recently that the city has really started to stand out and make a name for itself.

"Roadster City does what it does very well, they pay their bills on time and they keep their citizens happy, well-educated, and content. But there hasn't been too much to talk about beyond that," Midlandia Regional Growth Coordinator Chevrolet Drojinsky said.

"What many cities do to attract attention has never really been Roadster City's style," Drojinsky continued. "Flash and bang doesn't seem to be part of the city council's DNA. But businesses appreciate that stability, and they've been rewarding RC by showing up in ever greater numbers."

Roadster City's Business Downtown

"We like to see ourselves as the fiscal heart of Midlandia," Roadster City mayor Defacto said. "Financial hubs by definition like to remain a little conservative in their approach."

Still, signs of Roadster City's rising profile are starting to make themselves apparent, especially with the new Roadster Isle Convention Center opening, the first South Isles convention space. Seaedge Television Center has started a new series profiling leaders in the community to encourage even more growth as well.

"Our new series, 'Outside the Box', is hopefully going to help Midlandians around the South Isles find role models and positive concepts that they can emulate," Seaedge TV producer Jake Farage said. "In the Triforce Area, there are TV and movie stars all around, and we don't need to compete with that directly. But we would like to offer a counterpoint to that tin-plated western style," Farage said. "A little competition can't hurt anybody," he noted.

Some local residents, however, are concerned that Roadster City has not invested enough in entertainment.

"OK, we got a convention center, and that's great," Minerva Hills resident Angela Michon said. "But how many boring business conferences and car shows can one attend before one gets burned out? What we need is some more things to do, and soon," Michon said. "And, yeah, it's great that we live on a beautiful island, possibly the most beautiful in Midlandia. But how do we take advantage of that? There needs to be more investment in our natural assets," Michon said.

Mayor Defacto did not disagree with that sentiment when asked about the lack of entertainment options in town. "I appreciate the patience that our residents have shown. Building a successful city for the long term means having to put aside instant gratification for making a stable base for these kinds of things. I'm confident that we have that base, and that our residents will be pleased to see what grows from our roots," Defacto said. "If they just give us a little more time and a little more faith, everyone will be satisfied. I just hope they will."

Roadster City

Investigative Special Report: Seniom Sed Turns a Corner

By Tabatha Noble, Special Projects Editor

A Series in Two Parts--Part Two

SENIOM SED--You wouldn't call it a new city--not yet, despite the rhetoric coming out of the mayor's office in downtown Seniom Sed. But it would also be wrong to say anything other than that Seniom Sed is doing everything possible to turn things around for the better.

"There's no doubt that we've earned our bad reputations," mayor's assistant Burlingame Balloon said. "Seniom Sed polluted unabashedly, showed no respect for the health and wellbeing of its residents, and was the biggest example of corporate greed triumphing over the human. We're all guilty."

Seniom Sed before changes

Seniom Sed paid for that reputation on the backs of its blue collar population, men and women who lived hard, short lives in the smelting plants and industrial factories that made up the bulk of the city. They lived with compromised water and air, and still do, in many cases. In our previous article in the series, we interviewed Finney Fiornstern, a career smelter who worked in numerous plants to make enough money to raise his family of seven. Fiornstern, a frail man who wheezed as he spoke of his years in the center of Seniom Sed's 'industrial hell', passed away recently at the age of 63.

But also in the heart of the city, reformers were plotting to change the minds of city leaders.

Arranging a meeting between the city's mayor, Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho, and the man who would start the change that would begin to bring Seniom Sed out of the depths was a task that fell to a young lawyer by the name of Frito.

Frito was not someone we would call smart. But he liked money, and it was his destiny to bring Joe "Not Sure" Bauers and his girlfriend Rita to the very pinnacle of the hierarchy of Seniom Sed while trying to locate the city's fabled Time Masheen.

Of course, that story will have to be told another day. But it was "Not Sure" who convinced Mayor Camacho that change needed to take place in Seniom Sed. Camacho announced the bold new changes at a citywide press conference recently:

"Now I understand everyone's shit's emotional right now. But I got a three-point plan that's going to fix EVERYTHING," Camacho said.

"Break it down, Camacho!" a city councilman replied.

"Number one: We've got this guy Not Sure. Number two: He's got a higher IQ than ANY MAN ALIVE. And Number three: He's going to fix EVERYTHING," Camacho said.

And so it was that Seniom Sed began to turn a corner. Nobody in Midlandia believed it would be possible, considering the city's leaders had the lowest IQs of anyone in the region. But, in rapid succession, the city built the new Transcendent Isle, and invested heavily in education, building Nikita Khrushchev University, Spasibo Academy, and a host of new libraries.

Nikita Khrushchev University

In addition to the needed improvements in education, and an investment in health care that was desperately needed, Seniom Sed appears to have changed its views regarding unrestrained industrial development, a dangerous proposition considering the powerful interests behind the development of industry in SS.

"Seniom Sed has a major problem, and that is Industry Haven," development studies professor Hale Julien at Jupiter University said. "Unlike other Midlandia cities that have gotten away with wholesale dismantling of their industrial districts, Seniom Sed and Industry Haven have a cooperative, symbiotic relationship. Simply put, if Seniom Sed killed its industry, not only would the effects be felt for the residents of that city, but job loss would severely impact Industry Haven, and possibly the entire region.

"Seniom Sed is, for all the derision, the tail that wags the dog," Julien said.

New City neighborhood, reclaimed from industrial zones

But city leaders appear to be sensitive to this relationship, and they have been taking a careful approach to modifying industry in Seniom Sed without eliminating it. Assistant Balloon noted that the city has been courting High Tech industrial firms with gusto, as well as remaking industrial blocks to encourage nonpolluting industry to take the place of dirty industry. The city started by lowering High Tech Industry taxes to 7%, one of the lowest rates in the region.

"The results have been making themselves slowly evident. As commercial firms increase their commitment to the city, we see increasing services that benefit the community at large," Julien said.

Two of the more prominent signals of positive change in the city are the new Fleur Marina on the city's west side, and the city's first television station, Super Seniom TV, located at the edge of the newly created New City neighborhood in the southwest.

The massive clearing in the south central industrial area for the Fiornstern Memorial Airport

And the city itself seems to have the beginning of an understanding of how to heal from the scars of its past, by invoking the spirit of its blue collar heritage. City managers just recently cut the ribbon on Seniom Sed's commuter airport, with the family of Finney Fiornstern on hand. There, they unveiled the name of the new airport: The Finney Fiornstern Memorial Airport.

"This city has growing hope," Juliet Fiornstern, daughter of the late Finney, said at the ribbon cutting ceremony. "And if it continues to commit itself to change, then we will be happy to stay and call Seniom Sed home."

Don't Turn Your Backs on Industry

Letter to the Editor by Carlton Dikon, CEO, Midlandia Industrial Strategic Planning Company

Midlandia is a wonderful place, full of opportunities of all kinds, including good education, parks, commercial enterprise, and activities. But there's a growing alienation taking place in cities all around the region, a turning away from the engines that produce the growth that Midlandia depends on: industry.

Let me ask you, the average Midlandia Gazette reader, what city is the hub of growth and development in Midlandia? What cities have the greatest prosperity, the most jobs, the biggest economic output? Why, those would be Industry Haven, Eldorado Hills, and Red Dawn, wouldn't they? And all three of those fine cities built their great success through a strong base of industrial growth. Especially our regional capital, Industry Haven. It's in the name, folks!

But what have we been seeing in some of these cities in the last few years? Increasing tax rates, in some places as high as 20%! Decreasing zoning to conduct development and growth. Biased reportage in the media against industry. These things, while they may be fashionable to a certain minority of over-educated Midlandia residents, are a mistake in the long term.

Industry is the might that builds growth for Midlandia Sims. What does every city start with, if it wants to succeed? Healthy industry. Industry provides strong employment. Industry brings Sims to cities for work. Residents move to cities to be close to industry. Commercial sectors can't develop where there is no population! In short, everybody is hurt when industry suffers.

And you will too, if you live in a city that turns its back on its industrial progress. Look at Corner Haven, for example. The short-sighted government there has done nothing but pull away from its formerly strong industrial sector until it has become a shadow of its former self. Those citizens will pay the price if Corner Haven doesn't change its ways.

And we've all heard the criticisms from that loud minority of folks who want to stand in the way of progress, who complain about every little thing. They say that industry brings smog, that it pollutes. They say that most industry is dirty and unpleasant, and detracts from a city's 'desirability', whatever that means.

If anybody is blowing smoke in Midlandia, it's these folks, these nattering nabobs of negativity. They talk of an outmoded form of industry that is well on its way out. Modern industrial plants are clean, safe, and so pleasant you can keep them right in the middle of town! Why look again at Corner Haven. Even as the government turns its back on industry, there's a set of clean, high tech industrial plants right next door to City Hall, and down the street from Mayor Seedly, Jr.'s mansion. If industry is so bad, so nasty, why would they allow these places to stay in business just down the street?

But these are temporary problems. We, the staff of the Midlandia ISPC, in conjunction with the largest labor unions in Midlandia, are cooperating to negotiate new terms with the leaders of city governments throughout the region. We're committed to changing the image of industry amongst the average citizens of this fine, growing region. We are also confident that the majority of Midlandians are with us, and understand that if you want to succeed, you need industry. Join us.

Thank you,

Carlton Dikon, director, MISPC

Neglected City Under New Management

CORNER HAVEN--One of Midlandia's oldest cities, neglected for years with an incompetent government, has been taken over with fresh new leaders, according to a press release this Saturday.

Corner Haven's new mayor, Cotton "Joe" Seedly, Jr., son of the city's previous mayor, told the Midlandia Gazette that he intends to right the wrongs of his father and the previous City Council.

"We didn't oust him or effect a coup or anything dramatic like that," Seedly said. "He abdicated, and the City Council walked away over time, leaving us with a vacuum in power. So I stepped in, and we can tell you that our residents are much relieved with the changes we've brought to Corner Haven."

Neglected burnt rubble from old industrial fires littered the town

The evidence of the previous mayor's errors and neglect showed through in the documentation made by the new city management in a recent survey, including long abandoned water and power plants that no longer functioned, old debris left over from early industrial fires that had never been cleaned up, several abandoned industrial, residential and commercial buildings, and a funding deficit from a bloated infrastructure that did nothing.

Most curiously, the survey found a rail line that went absolutely nowhere in the North Residential District, and, oddly, a perfectly functioning subway system--the region's second--that nobody in town had publicized previously.

Asked on the whereabouts of his father, Cotton "Joe" Seedly, Seedly, Jr. was tight-lipped, though he did mention that the region's interagency police force was invovled and had the case sealed by a regional judge.

Corner Haven's tiny agricultural district

Another oddity found in Corner Haven was a tiny agricultural plot, determined to be the smallest agricultural land area in the region. Though it seemed healthy and successful, no managing authority could be located at press time.

Despite the strangeness of Corner Haven, the citizens seem happy and healthy, said regional census taker Brian Bohannon.

"I talked at length with several of the city residents, and they seemed oddly disconnected with the rest of the region. They were quite shocked to find out that several cities had sprouted up around the region, as if they just came out of a time warp or something," Bohannon said.

That isolation is likely to be coming to an end, however, as new road lines to Surrogate City to the south have recently been built, linking the two cities. Also, the city just received its first radio station, notable also for being the region's very first public radio station--named appropriately Corner Haven Public Radio.

Seedly, Jr., expressed high hopes for the new management of the city, and was especially proud of all the new trees that had been planted throughout Corner Haven.

"My father, let's face it, was a jerk, and he didn't give a crap about this town," Seedly, Jr., said. "But I love it, and I think it has a lot of potential, and we're going to work hard to be worthy of joining the Midlandia community."

Corner Haven

New Subway Stations in Corner Haven

The Midlandia Regional Transit Authority was thrilled to discover the region's second subway system, though baffled as to why such a small city as Corner Haven would have one. The city government turned over management and oversight of the subway to the MRTA, and the authority has added five new stations to their records, which are as follows:

• Greystone Station
• Government Hub Station
• South Residential Station
• Sandstone Station
• Garbonzebo Station

Investigative Special Report: Seniom Sed's Industrial Wasteland

By Tabatha Noble, Special Projects Editor

A Series in Two Parts--Part One

SENIOM SED--The reputation of Seniom Sed in Midlandia is notorious, and has been for a long time. Visitors and residents alike have called the city dirty and polluted, its residents (mostly Midlandia's working class) facing short life spans, and its buildings presenting such a fire risk that most insurers wouldn't touch the place. And a recent investigation of the city by the Midlandia Gazette finds that Seniom Sed's reputation is well-earned.

Founded initially not so much as a city but as a landgrab by capital city Industry Haven's booming industrial sector in Midlandia's early days, it's almost shocking to think that anything other than industry has developed here. Indeed, for many years, only a tiny population braved the barely-liveable conditions in the town. The city's mayor, Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho, has been accused of being nothing more than a puppet for the large industrial conglomeration that kept Industry Haven moving, even as IH divested itself of much of that industry as it strove to become a capital city.

Seniom Sed's water pollution rates are by far the worst in Midlandia

Compounding the problem was a lack of city services. Other than a phalanx of fire stations built to deal with the unprecedented rates of devastating fires, Seniom Sed was bereft of even the most basic education and health services for its small population. Beyond that, there were no recreational places for residents to enjoy, no trees, and choking smog filled the air most days.

North and south, a giant dirty industrial district pumped tons of pollution into the skies of Seniom Sed, and, indeed, still do. The water of the Des Moines Sea is blackened with waste products put out by the city's mighty industry, providing jobs to workers all around the region. Money also rules this city, with the city's bank account the largest by far in the region at $2.8 million Simoleons. But much of that money does not come back to the residents, and they seem to be starting to fight back.

"Back in the early days, all we looked at was the jobs," longtime resident Finney Fiornstern said. "But we got crushed by the machinery of the industry that was making all the other cities in the region wealthy, while we suffered." Fiornstern, 63, appears much older than his actual age, and he is plagued by numerous health problems that make him a regular visitor of the city's only hospital.

Seniom Sed's industrial area has no official name, but has been called "Industrial Hell" by residents

Surprisingly, the city's population is experiencing a growth spurt as well, topping 85,000 in population according to the latest census. The city's mayor has finally started to come around to make modest changes in the structure of the city, though much of it is too modest to make a real dent in the overall situation. Until recently, Camacho's only appearances before the public have been riding with his staff of incompetents on modified Harley-Davidson motorcycles, spewing their own black smoke into the air. Much of those rides were to the sports arena, where the only entertainment to be had in Seniom Sed, Monday Night Rehab, took place. Without police, the city resorted to comically executing its 'criminals' live on TV.

Most Midlandians who had visited Seniom Sed considered the place a lost cause, and many have professed they'll never set foot in the place. But there are also signs of change in Seniom Sed's future. For one thing, Mayor Camacho appears to be making concessions he hasn't made before, moving industrial zones away from residential zones, and building schools and police stations.

Even his rhetoric has started to change. At a recent press conference, Mayor Camacho gave a speech that almost sounded like he was finally hearing the problems of his residents.

"Shit. I know shit's bad right now, with all that starving bullshit, and the dust storms, and we are running out of french fries and burrito coverings. But I got a solution," Camacho said.

Before Mayor Camacho could continue, though, he was heckled by opposing members of the city council, before he could reveal the nature of his solution. In the next part, however, the Midlandia Gazette will look into the changes that are taking place in Seniom Sed, and find out if Seniom Sed really is about to undergo a transformation...or sink back into the depths. Join us for part two of this special investigation next time.

Seniom Sed

Happy New Year From Midlandia!

A special editorial from the Midlandia Internet Gazette publisher

We, the publisher, editors, and staff of the Midlandia Gazette, would like to wish a happy and peaceful 2017 to the citizens of Midlandia, and to Gazette readers all around the world. We hope that all of you out there find as much peace, prosperity, and growth in the coming months as we hope and expect Midlandians will enjoy.

To our Midlandian readers from our oldest community Lazy Isles to our newest, Fresh Start, we hope you'll take a moment to appreciate the peace that our region enjoys in a chaotic world. Our 1,050,000 Midlandians live in a world that is free from war, famine, destitution. Our Sims appreciate free regional health care and education provided via our surplus of tax Simoleons. We have mostly stable governments with level-headed leaders who have nothing but the best interests of their Sims at heart, and we are fortunate to not suffer too many disasters or afflictions. This is more than can be said for lots of places in the outside world, where even the most stable democracies are looking tenuous in the days ahead.

And to our readers from that strange place you call the 'real world', we hope that you can all maybe take a page from what you see here, and try to make your own cities as peaceful and friendly as our little Sim utopia. Thank you all for reading and making us live through your imaginations. Here's to tremendous regional growth and a robust population in 2017!

Fresh Start, founded 2017

Midlandia, January 1, 2017

Air Pollution Mars Richest City

ELDORADO HILLS--The Midlandia city that boasts the richest and some of the most powerful Sims in the region is a sight to behold...on the days you can see it, that is. Eldorado Hills has been rated in the latest air and water quality polls for Midlandia as the second worst polluted city, next only to the infamous Seniom Sed.

Both cities, of course, built their tremendous industrial presence off of the explosive early growth in the region's capital, Industry Haven. But though Industry Haven is named so, the bulk of the industrial engines of Midlandia are these days centered in her two neighbors. Unlike Seniom Sed, however, which is not an economic powerhouse, Eldorado Hills quickly gained a reputation as the place for the movers and shakers to live in unabashed luxury. Boasting a luxury cruise line, a Major League Baseball stadium, numerous expensive condominiums, and amenities aplenty, EH is clearly near the top of the food chain. Topping that cake is Swankville, the recently developed ultrasuburb, home to the castle Sim Ben.

For most of this year, Mayor Casey J. Sprinkledonut has kicked back and enjoyed the fruits of his great success, untouchable due to his Best in the Region Mayor Rating Polls, receiving a 100% score. But when you scratch the surface, EH has warning signs on the horizon that may put that rating in jeopardy.

Eldorado Hills Air Quality Report, Dec. 2016

The Midlandia Gazette received a copy of the latest air quality report for Eldorado Hills, and the results were not good. Despite a carefully maintained Tree Buffer Zone in the north of the city along the Industrial District, air quality ratings were among the poorest in the region. And the water quality ratings were on the same par, a troubling development, especially showing that the pollution was starting to reach the water pump houses near the Des Moines Basin.

When asked about these latest surveys, Sprinkledonut was defensive, but acknowledged that the city does have an issue that needs addressing.

"Eldorado Hills is a city that owes its success to its industrial might. Unlike our neighbor to the east [Industry Haven], we have not shirked our relationship with industry, and we are regularly rewarded for it. Growth and industry go hand in hand, and nobody appreciates that more than our citizens," Sprinkledonut said.

"Having said that, we do take the wellbeing of our citizens very seriously, as anyone can see from our commitment to quality health and education. Balance is one of our key words, and our industrial partners do understand that they live in tandem with Sims who appreciate quality of life," Sprinkledonut said.

EH's North Industrial District

But despite the mayor's verbal expression of confidence in the city's industry, steps the city government have recently taken indicate that the days of industry's free ride in EH may be about to turn. This month, the city council agreed to raise taxes in a handful of categories to address the budget shortfall created when the city developed Swankville in November. The biggest tax increase was right in line with one that mayors have been taking across the region, taking Dirty Industry tax levels to the wall--20%, the highest tax rate possible.

And while city leaders insist this was a temporary measure to address the shortfall, indications are that, at least for Dirty Industry, the days of carefree development may be behind them.

Development of Swankville caused EH a budget shortfall

"Nobody, especially nobody with Simoleons, wants to share the stage with air polluters," said an EH business owner who didn't want to share her name. "My friends benefit from the revenue generated by industry, that's a fact. But they don't want to breathe that air. Just like what happened in Industry Haven, they're going to push industry out. But the question is, where will they go?"

Eldorado Hills

Brewing Culture Race in Midlandia

FANNY KEMBLE--Regional art and culture admirers are pleased to report the stirrings of a cultural race to the top in several cities in Midlandia.

"Remember the Space Race? It's like that, but for ever increasing cultural success. Seems like city leaders have been playing a lot of 'Civilization VI'," Fanny Kemble culture adviser Arisa Meripal said.

Fanny Kemble, a city of 30,000 in the south, hopes to become the spearhead of culture for the region. Mayor Upton Bougainville is one of several Midlandia mayors to double down on culture this month.

"Eyes of Gohma thinks it is going to be the cultural capital of Midlandia? It is to laugh," Bougainville said. "There is not a single city in the region that spends more per capita on art and culture than our city."

Civilized House of Culture and Art

The latest salvo in this burgeoning culture war is FK's Civilized House of Culture and Art museum which opened recently in the city's Esterhaus neighborhood. The impressive Euro-styled building is easily the largest art gallery in the region, putting even the Midlandia History Museum in Industry Haven to shame.

"A city with a smaller border area than most, Fanny Kemble is seeking a way to distinguish itself from an increasingly competitive group of southland cities," Meripal said. "Part of the reason we're seeing this sudden increase in attention to cultural matters is this drive to attract the best and brightest Midlandia Sims. There's universities going up everywhere, private academies, all sorts of new and creative parks and facilities. Right now, Midlandia also has a lot of money flowing through it, especially in the Triforce Area and the south, too. That's pushing city leaders to spend more and more of that money on things like theater and culture," she said.

Sometimes, however, not all boats are raising to the top, said Paul Donatu, head of the Midlandia League of Community Fairness.

"You have to understand that most mayors in Midlandia do not have all their citizens' wellbeing in their hearts, but only the ones with Simoleons aplenty," Donatu said. "It falls to watchdog agencies like ours to do what we can to keep mayors honest and on track."

Rich and Poor Neighbors in Fanny Kemble

Even in Fanny Kemble, a nicely balanced city in terms of wealth distribution, there are pockets of disparity. Some residents of Allen Street have found it difficult to keep up with the city's increasing wealth.

"Yeah, it's great and all that they built that whole new rich area over by Esterhaus," Allen Street resident Russell Stover said. "But I gotta drive further and further to work, and now compete with all these new people for jobs. Meanwhile, my house is in disrepair and needs a new roof. No culture museum's gonna fix that for me."

Culture Adviser Meripal disagrees with Donatu and Stover, as she takes the view that cultural growth will in time enrich every Sim's wellbeing. "Jobs follow education and culture, and it's the best companies that want to locate near the best art and culture facilities. But change doesn't happen overnight, as they say. Some people are just going to have to wait for the changes to take root."

Fanny Kemble

All Developed And Nowhere to Go

EYES OF GOHMA--Stagnation is the word most often used to describe the furthest north city in Midlandia. The mysteriously named Eyes of Gohma is anything but mysterious. In fact, it's downright...boring.

"Well, I wouldn't call it boring, exactly," local restauranteur Polly Charms said at the recent "Art of Gohma" exhibit event. "I would call it a place that hasn't found it's niche yet."

But the very reason EoG city leaders were holding this pioneering event was specifically to help break the stereotype of their city, one that has been reinforced in TV shows and amongst Midlandia comics for some time now. Despite some considerable investment in local art, including the giant arch known as The Portal, Sims aren't giving this small northern city much of a chance.

The Portal, Eyes of Gohma, one of Midlandia's most expensive art installations

Several reasons have been proffered by city residents for the lack of interest in the city including air pollution, the far north location of the city, and the generally uninspired architecture of the place, according to a Sim On The Street informal poll conducted this evening.

"There's just nothing to do here, except for that arch," 17-year-old Pauly Noyes said. "And once you've done that, you've really done it."

Local meteorologist Gordon Fortress confirmed that opinion, noting that the tight grid of the city inspired an almost prison-like feel to getting around.

"It's very efficient, that's a solid fact. And you can get around from place to place in almost no time at all," Fortress said. "But when you get there, you're just there. Do you get what I'm saying? There's nothing unique to see, just a bunch of bland buildings and generic office complexes."

"And no water!" Fortress's morning TV co-host Jenny Weems added. "It's nothing but flat land all over, with nowhere to go!"

The city's mayor, Link McLinkerson, has tried hard both to stay out of the debates on the cause of Eyes of Gohma's ennui, while at the same time doing everything he can to drum up interest."

"I don't get why people are complaining, really. We're an oasis in an untamed wilderness," McLinkerson said. "To the north of us is the great frontier, the undiscovered mass of Midlandia's future. Were Lewis & Clark bored? Was Captain Kirk bored? We've got a tremendously bright future ahead, and all people can do is complain."

"McLinkerson can talk for sure, but, really the fact is, everyone's oppressed by the smog," local resident Julian Frankly said, referring to the heavy concentration of air pollution in the city caused by the heavy industrial sector of Eyes of Gohma. "They keep saying they're going to solve that problem, but I sure can't see it."

Regardless of the nature of the issues, though, Eyes of Gohma appears pretty well locked into its place, with every square meter of real estate filled, save for two reserved park areas in the south central portion of the city. McLinkerson called that development 'balance' in a conversation with Gazette editors, but one has to wonder just what this city is supposed to grow up to become. Maybe the city will become a center for art and culture, as city boosters would like.

"But for now, this place is as bland as my Aunt Helen," Noyes said. "As soon as I can, I'm moving to Eldorado Hills."

Eyes of Gohma

Sunday Photo Tour: Constance Hill

By Delfino Brass, Travel Editor

Constance Hill doesn't want to be called a suburb, says city travel coordinator Flossie Turbo.

"We want to make our own name and be our own special metro area," Turbo tells the Gazette. "Those other towns can be suburbs! We're growing into an independent powerhouse."

It's hard to argue that, considering Constance Hill's unique charms and room for growth. A city of 70,000 bordering three larger locales, Constance Hill has often been lost in the mix for many Midlandians. But, when you scratch the surface and really look at Constance Hill, you find a city with a lot of character. Take a tour with me through the sights of Constance Hill.

We start with an overview of the dense urban core of Constance Hill, looking south towards Fina Bay. Though Flossie Turbo may not want to call Constance Hill a suburb, evidence might indicate otherwise, considering the bustle of activity along the north border with Industry Haven. Also, tourists should note that Industry Haven's subway system extends south into Constance Hill, with over six stations in the city core.

Airport Hill is Constance Hill's newest area, and has swanky shopping options that compete directly with the hoitiest of boutiques in Midlandia. Business travelers to the city's airport will find that there is no shortage of shops, restaurants, and bars that cater to the jet setting businesswoman or man visiting the city. Especially worth noting is the unique Business Train that follows the city's actual rail line at the north end of Airport Hill.

Constance Hill's 'Business Train'

Sports is at a high-water mark in Constance Hill, too, with the construction of the new stadium for the Constance Hill Triremes minor league soccer team. Take in an afternoon game and then walk along the beach just north of the stadium.

Constance Hill Triremes play against Eldorado Hills for the Midlandia Cup finals

Constance Hill is home to several unique businesses as well. Amelia's Cat Cafe, a concept new to Midlandia, is a restaurant/coffee bar where patrons can enjoy lattes and upscale dishes while cuddling a number of the cafe's cats. Flossie Turbo says that the city's stress levels instantly went down 10% following the addition of the Cat Cafe.

Amelia's Cat Cafe

Business is booming in Constance Hill thanks to a very tax friendly government boasting some of the lowest business taxes in the region. Though Constance Hill did struggle with balancing its income with its outflow until recently, the government made corrections that have kept business alive while still preserving city services. Here's a view of the business district:

Downtown Business

There is no shortage of unique architecture to be found in Constance Hill as well. The hills of the city are no euphemism, either, large rolling hills that climb into the southern skies. Several travel blogs and features have commented on the beautiful skyline view from the top of many of Constance Hill's taller buildings.

Curvilinear Estates and Graham Condos

Yes, you can find everything you're looking for in Constance Hill, including a healthy base of luxury living. Curvilinear Estates and Constance Hill Estates are expensive, but well worth your Simoleons.

Constance Hill Estates

As you make your New Year's travel plans, be sure to put Constance Hill high on your list. You won't regret it. From Marina Sirtis Marina to Tori Amos Park, you'll find enjoyment all holiday long.

Industry Haven Expands Subway to Alleviate Traffic Congestion

INDUSTRY HAVEN--In response to an ongoing traffic congestion problem in southwest Industry Haven, city traffic engineers have been hard at work expanding the city's subway system this week. The IH City Transit Authority cut the ribbon on four new subway entry stops, creating two new lines, a north-south line along Paramus Street to the Coarser Mesh Neighborhood, and an east-west line along Areel Shaw Lane to Midtown.

Coarser Mesh Library and Subway Stop

IHCTA spokesman Sirna Kolrami noted that the new lines are right along the most densely congested roadways in Industry Haven, and said that he hopes that IH Sims will take advantage of the expanded subway.

"Industry Haven is the only city in the region to have a subway system of its own," Kolrami noted. "We've been seeing streets in the south to Constance Hill that have over 10,000 cars drive on them in a given day. Sims are getting backed up, and they're getting frustrated. The subway is the best way to alleviate that problem."

Kolrami also advocated for the subway system, noting that it is clean, safe, and cheap to use. "I know some cynical people out there would say that subways are always grimy, dingy places. On the contrary, I say. I ride the subway myself every day to the IHCTA Offices in Stratton. It keeps my stress level down, and allows me plenty of reading time every morning and afternoon."

A full list of Industry Haven subway stops follows:

• Coarser Mesh Stop (new stop near Coarser Mesh Library)
• North Forty Stop (new stop near North Forty Elementary School)
• Edge Clinic Stop
• Fort Des Moines Stop (new stop near Terrible's Casino and Ft. Des Moines)
• Dogville Stop
• Wilsonoff Tennis Stop
• Stratton Stop (new stop by Stratton Medical Clinic)
• Cat Eye Stop
• Midtown Stop (new stop)

A Mayor Q&A: Two Small Cities Face Similar Issues

Orange Blossom and Rising Sun, two very prosperous suburbs in Midlandia, are thriving, healthy places to live, say many of their residents. Yet, despite their success, they face similar challenges and difficulties. Midlandia Gazette reporter Jan Thomas sat down to discuss these issues with their mayors this afternoon.

"If there's nowhere outward to grow, the only direction left is up," Orange Blossom Mayor Cyclotron Taft said in an interview at the offices of the Midlandia Gazette.

Taft, one of the younger mayors in Midlandia, is in charge of the small suburb bordering Cheater's Haven in the south. His nearest counterpart, Angela Jay Michaels of Rising Sun, an Industry Haven suburb, has a bit more wisdom and weariness.

"Cities can get out of control very quickly if you don't carefully manage who you let into town in the first place," Michaels said, noting that Rising Sun's early quests for growth cost the suburb more than they expected.

Rising Sun learned that lesson early on when Michaels agreed to let in a SimNation Air Force Missile Silo in order to solve a budget crisis not long after the founding of that town. Like its neighbor, Industry Haven, known in those days for being a terribly polluted and troubled city, Michaels had to make compromises in order to keep things operating.

The aptly named "Precarious Gazebo" in Rising Sun's Rising Village

"We were one of the earliest Midlandia cities," Michaels said. "And so, unlike the mayors of more recent cities, we had to learn things the hard way. We overspent, we sprawled, we didn't know the right strategic placement of education and health care. In Rising Sun especially, we reacted hard to what we saw as craziness in IH. [IH Mayor Vladimir] Putin in those days was, forgive my saying so, a total wackjob. He's moderated a lot since then, so I think a lot of people forget that city's struggles. So we in Rising Sun spent a ton on education, parks, healthcare, and services. Too much."

Fortunately for Michaels, both Rising Sun and Industry Haven recovered from their early troubles despite their compromises. Nowadays many in the region see Rising Sun especially as a model for what can go right in a city.

Taft, of Orange Blossom, says he especially looked to Michael's management model, not only because of Rising Sun's success, but also because of the similar geographies and circumstances of the two cities: both are small, hilly islands neighboring much larger cities, both benefit from their neighbors' good fortune, and both have extra tiny islands to consider for growth possibilities.

"We're certainly running into the same problem as Rising Sun--we've flat out run out of useable real estate," Taft admitted. "I tried to take a very careful approach to what is now called Mistake Village, for example, but I will admit that once it was there, we were happy to have the extra residential zoning."

Taft is referring, of course, to the nickname for Hilltop Village, a small neighborhood in the east of the city, the hilliest portion of the town. The city planners had designed a small residential-commercial sector, but an error in the zoning office led to a much bigger, sprawling area on top of Tunnel Hill. That oops quickly caught on, though, and was filled in no time by eager commercial and residential developers.

Hilltop Village in Orange Blossom, known among its residents as 'Mistake Village'

At this point, both mayors are looking for ways to grow their populations without damaging their suburban charms.

"Rising Sun residents are very active when it comes to political involvement," Michaels said. "I encourage it, and I think it makes for a better city over time."

"We honestly don't know yet where we'll end up growing to," Taft said. "But I know I can speak for my council when I say we're not going to be content with a mere 20,000 population."

Orange Blossom

BREAKING NEWS: Million Midlandia Milestone Reached

RED DAWN--Celebrations and fireworks spontaneously filled the air around the region as the latest population numbers were released today in Midlandia. According to the Midlandia Regional Government Census Bureau, Midlandia tallied a population number of 1,000,812, reaching the government's goal of 1 million Sims by January 1, 2017 three weeks early. Midlandia Regional Governor J.F. Boyd led festivities in the Triforce Area city of Red Dawn, which coincidentally also broke a population goal of 50,000 this evening.

"We're all smiles out here," Boyd said, celebrating on the grounds of Red Dawn's mysterious Weather Control Pyramid, with dignitaries and representatives from around the region.

Red Dawn's Weather Control Pyramid

Red Dawn Mayor Monterey McPhillips was also in attendance at the evening's events, and promised his citizens a parade will commence on Fleetwood Avenue this coming weekend.

"I can't tell you what a pleasure it is that we here in Red Dawn get to be the center of the new era for this expanding region," McPhillips said. "Red Dawn has been growing by leaps and bounds along with her neighbors, and I have a feeling we're just at the beginning of a very exciting time for Midlandia."

Many regional celebrities in black tie were also seen at the gala event for the announcement, flying into Red Dawn International Airport, the largest airport in the region, including jazz legend Belinda Tito King and baseball home run champion "Beardy" Buffins, recently named Midlandia Gazette's "IT" Couple of 2016.

"Beardy and I are honored to be heralded by the nice, nice folks of Midlandia, all one million of you!" King said before launching into a rendition of her hit song, "Ain't No Cumulo in Your Nimbus", live before an audience of 483 invited guests. The event was also televised around the region in an unusual network TV event. Cheers and whistles filled the air as celebrants toasted the occasion.

When asked what the next goal for Midlandia would be, Boyd said, "Now we're going for TEN million!"

Commemorative copies of the special "Midlandia at a Million" issue of the Midlandia Gazette will be on sale this Friday at reputable newsmongers throughout the region for the low, low price of $1.00.

Midlandia at 1,000,812

Midlandia's Third Largest City Faces Deficit Crisis

CHEATER'S HAVEN--Kate Swan Noble remembers the days when she had to drive over an hour-and-a-half to get to the nearest medical facility, located well out of her city. Noble recalls feeling astounded that her home city, the third largest in Midlandia, had absolutely no clinics, let alone hospitals.

"We were really lucky not to have any major emergencies," she said, referring to her family of three boys, and her husband Lipka. "If we had, I wouldn't have known what to do, there weren't any public ambulance services in town. It was the definition of insane!"

Those days are, fortunately, no longer for the residents of Cheater's Haven, a southside city on the verge of breaking 100,000 in population. Recently, the government of Cheater's Haven, formerly ruled by what could almost be called the law of the jungle, has seen the errors of its ways and is investing heavily in both education and health care.

Blandina Booth Hospital, one of three new large medical centers in CH, instantly was overwhelmed with patients

Mayor Alphonse Capone, who was re-elected mayor despite serving a 10-year sentence in an Industry Haven correctional facility following conviction on charges of starting Cheater's Haven to personally profit off citizens' tax revenue, has decided that he wants to eventually best the Triforce Area cities with the highest and best educated population in the region.

"We're gonna be the biggest and the best, and none of those [expletives] in IH and EH will be able to touch us again," Capone said, referring to capital Industry Haven and neighboring Eldorado Hills, the largest and wealthiest cities in the region.

Though Cheater's Haven is the most influential city in the South Cities area, the city has a number of hurdles to overcome before it can achieve Capone's new goals. First and most critical is the city's tax revenue deficit, the worst in the region, and a direct result of Capone's sudden change of heart. Prior to Capone's incarceration, Cheater's Haven had a tax surplus of $1,500 a month leading to a healthy $1 million in the city's fund. But following the founding of three new elementary schools, three hospitals, creation of a modest bus transportation system, and zoning changes in the city, Cheater's Haven has an outflow of $17.5K in expenses per month, but only takes in $13.6K in that same timeframe.

And Capone has no immediate answers to solve that shortfall.

"What we need now is more population, and more commercial investment in the city to turn this thing around," Capone said.

He is getting an answer to the first issue, slowly but certainly, as CHaven's population has grown to just over 92,000 this week. But the new residents are not nearly enough to resolve the upset tax revenue applecart, leaving city leaders scratching their heads on how to get things back in order.

Cheater's Haven's Downtown Residential District, source of most of the city's tax revenue

"The most obvious first step to correcting this problem seems to be moving to a higher density of zoning, something the city leaders have been doing, if somewhat timidly," Midlandia Regional Growth Coordinator Chevrolet Drojinsky said in a recent interview from his Eldorado Hills office. "But what Capone is really going to need to do to succeed is work hard to catch up with the Triforce in terms of commercial jobs, and fast."

Cheater's Haven has grown considerably in population despite having almost no high-density residential zones until recently. The effects are already making themselves apparent following the changes. Still, the ratio of residential zones to commercial zones appears to be slightly imbalanced toward residential, which costs the city the chance to compete directly with their peers on jobs.

"Right now, CH has less than half of the number of office and retail jobs than Industry Haven, at 23,000 to IH's 87,000," Drojinsky said. "Though IH is about more than twice the size of CH, that still tells the story that what CH needs is jobs, jobs, jobs."

Despite the problems, Capone said he's optimistic about making up that difference, despite having no plans on how to approach the issue directly.

"We're gonna bring jobs to CH, you can bet your casino dollars on it," Capone said. "We're gonna bring big, beautiful jobs to this very city."

Less enthusiastic are some longtime CH residents who were turned off by Capone's recent incarceration, and who do not trust that Capone's change of heart is permanent.

"I sense smelly things underneath the ground at the mayor's house," a resident who wished to remain unidentified told the Midlandia Gazette recently. "Ten years locked up in Industry Haven, and you're telling me he didn't once have a strategic conversation with [IH Mayor] Vlad the Putin to get him back to [Capone's] prime position? There's no way he won that re-election fair and square. Capone should have been ridden out of Midlandia on a rail."

IH Mayor Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin refused to comment for this article, but has been on record repeatedly denying any involvement in Cheater's Haven's politics.

"I've got a city of my own to run, the largest in the region, I might remind you," he said in a sit-down interview on "The Leaders Speak", CHUM-TV's weekly television newsmagazine a month ago. "I don't have time or interest to get my beak dirty poking around in Cheater's Haven's problems."

The Montfolis Neighborhood, a recently renovated district in CH

Still, charges of corrupt regional politics aside, many residents are noting the positive changes in Cheater's Haven of late, including local mother Noble.

"Finally, there's room for my three sons to go to school! That by itself is worthy of celebration!" Noble said as she sipped coffee in a little shop in the trendy Montfolis neighborhood Sunday. "Before the recent improvements, I was having to drive them downtown to the overcrowded elementary schools many kilometers away. And my oldest now gets his pick between two new private academies! Things are looking up finally."

Cheater's Haven looking south onto the sea